PUTTING YOUR AFFAIRS IN ORDER

If you are reading this, you are alive. There is no need to be depressed. Everyone needs to have their affairs in order, and it need not be a depressing task. However, it is a task that seems overwhelming while undergoing treatment. Doing so does not mean you are going to die.

I once had a plaque which read "Don't Take Life So Seriously, It's Not Permanent". There are two certainties in life - death and taxes. Try to keep a sense of humor.

Before getting started with the detailed stuff, the following stories appeared in the "Senior Citizens IN THE NEWS on www.seniorcitizenhumor.blogspot.com on October 24, 2007 about two different celebrities passing:

"PILLSBURY DOUGHBOY DEAD AT 71"

It is with the saddest heart I pass on the following. Please join me in remembering a great icon. The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a severe yeast infection and complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies and Captain Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours. Longtime friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was never considered a very smart cookie, wasting much of his dough on half baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, even still he was a crusty old man and was considered a roll model for millions. Toward the end, it was thought he would rise again, but alas, he had reached his expiration date. Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough, two children, John Dough and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by his elderly father, Pop Tart. The funeral was held at 350 for about 20 minutes.

"SAD NEWS"

With all the sadness and trauma going on in the world at the moment, it is worth reflecting on the death of a very important person, which almost went unnoticed last week. Larry LaPrise, the man that wrote "The Hokey Pokey", died peacefully at the age of 93. The most traumatic part for his family was getting him into the coffin. They put his left leg in. And then the trouble started.

Organizing your affairs may appear to be overwhelming; however, if you spend an hour or two a day, you will find that you can quickly put together information to assist you and your family in the future. Again, everyone needs to have their affairs in order.

Only you know where many important papers and personal property are located. You need to have one place that will give full detail on important items. Such detail will include names, addresses, telephone numbers, account numbers, keys, and even a short explanation of the items, who to contact if help is needed, etc. The more comprehensive the information, the more it will help your survivors.

  1. You can find general organizers at:
    1. Personal Affairs Worksheet
    2. Affairs In Order
    3. You can purchase worksheets at some book stores.
    4. Many times, a cemetery or funeral home will have more detailed worksheets free for the asking.
    5. Customize your personal worksheet in a binder.
  2. Some areas to be covered when organizing your affairs are:
    1. General instructions.
    2. Where general files are located.
    3. Basic household questions (i.e., telephone numbers for the gardener, the plumber, the electrician, service companies, etc.)
    4. Homeowners insurance.
    5. Copy of deed, mortgage and note on the home.
    6. Instructions on household appliances, etc. (i.e., manuals and warranties on household equipment such as kitchen appliances, stereo, air conditioning, heating, etc.)
    7. Consent for emergency medical treatment for you and your family. (See BEFORE BEGINNING TREATMENT section)
    8. Your personal history (i.e., your full name and address, birth place, birth date, social security number, marital status, name and birth place of father and mother; professional information; professional activities; education; affiliations; important charities.
    9. A Living Will and Health Care Surrogate forms. (See BEFORE BEGINNING TREATMENT section)
    10. A Designation of Personal Representative for your medical insurance carrier. (See (BEFORE BEGINNING TREATMENT) section)
    11. A Durable Power of Attorney for the person taking care of your personal matters while in the hospital or during recovery. You may need to consult with your attorney in this regard.
    12. Military information (i.e., military service, serial number, rank achieved; dates of military service; enlistment date and place; discharge date and place; and a copy of discharge papers Form DD214). There are certain benefits to which a veteran may be entitled and may range from educational and medical to various death benefits. THESE BENEFITS NEED TO BE APPLIED FOR AND ARE NOT PAID AUTOMATICALLY. THERE IS A STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS FOR MAKING THIS TYPE OF CLAIM. You need to have the claim information together.
    13. Your marriage information (i.e., spouse's name and maiden name; marriage date and place; copy of marriage certificate including all marriages and divorce agreements along with the documents relating thereto.)
    14. Birth certificates for everyone in your family.
    15. Social Security Information. You should have received a yearly notice from Social Security concerning your benefits. SOCIAL SECURITY BENEFITS MUST BE APPLIED FOR AND ARE NOT PAID AUTOMATICALLY. THERE IS A STATUTE OF LIMITATIONS FOR APPLYING. The following documents will assist in filing the claim: your birth certificate; social security card or copy; marriage certificate; birth certificates of minor children; disability proof for children over 18; death certificate; and funeral bill.
    16. Social Security not only applies to retirement benefits while you are alive. There are certain lump sum payments for which your spouse may qualify. Dependent children may be eligible to receive certain benefits. If you have not received information on your Social Security benefits, it can be obtained by contacting the Social Security Administration in Baltimore, Maryland 21238 or at their website www.ssa.gov.
    17. Copies (or originals) of all Wills and Trusts (note date and location).
    18. Banking information (i.e., a list of bank accounts including the name on the account, the account number, the type of account, the name of the branch along with the address and telephone number and any contact person).
    19. Safety deposit boxes (i.e., location and box numbers and where keys are located).
    20. Personal financial statements. You need to fill out a fairly complete financial statement with the appropriate schedules. This would include all assets of any value such as cash on hand, cash in banks, securities, nonmarketable securities, notes receivable, notes payable, real estate, cash value life insurance, automobiles, personal property, and other assets. There should also be a record of liabilities, such as secured notes payable to banks, unsecured notes payable to bank, notes payable to others, accounts and bills due, unpaid taxes and interest, real estate mortgages, and other debts. On each of the categories, you should have a full supporting schedule giving complete information.
    21. Investment accounts (i.e., name of firm, address, name of broker, telephone number, and account numbers). You should also include the name on the account, how the securities are registered along with their cost together with any written confirmation of acquisition.
    22. Bills of Sale.
    23. Automobile registrations and titles.
    24. Real estate properties (i.e., the address and type of property, how it is titled, the date acquired, the cost, the market value, mortgage maturity, mortgage amount, a copy of the deed and any title insurance).
    25. Accounts of Loans Receivable or Payable. For accounts and notes payable or receivable, you should include who it is from, the address, telephone, account number (if any), the amount, the maturity date, the net amount of the loan and the total amount of loan, copies of any supporting papers such as promissory notes or other supporting information. Anyone owing you money should sign a promissory note (if not already done); otherwise, the note may not be collectible.
    26. Insurance policies (i.e., name of insurance company, agent, telephone number, policy number, premium and benefit).
    27. Tax returns for the prior three years.
    28. Summary of where important papers are located (i.e., in safety deposit box, home, office, with your attorney, etc.). If the original is held elsewhere, include a copy of every important document in each of the above categories.
    29. Funeral Directions:
      1. Location of the cemetery where you have a burial plot or where you would like to be buried or if your wish to be cremated. You need memorial instructions. Cremation or burial instructions need to be specified. If you do not have a family plot, you need to purchase one. This section should note the place of service, the memorial chapel, name of church, city, state, the name of the contact, participating organizations (whether military or fraternal), the type of service, and a preference for a casket. You need to list your cemetery location, city, state, and zip along with the location of ownership certificate for the cemetery plot. Include a copy of ownership certificate or deed. The type of monument along with the inscription. In addition, you should specify any special instructions which should be in writing. You should have a list of all the people who need to be contacted. When your children marry, you need their addresses and telephone numbers. A list of relatives including their name, relationship, addresses and telephone numbers. In addition, a list of close friends with their names and telephone numbers.
      2. Together with this information should be an overall checklist. It is easier to make these decisions before emotions come into play. Some items are notifications of doctor, funeral director, cemetery, the minister and church, relatives, friends, employers, organist and singer, pall bearers, insurance agents, unions and fraternal organization, newspapers, accountants, attorneys, and executors of the estate.
      3. Some miscellaneous items would be providing vital statistics about the deceased, preparing and signing necessary funeral papers, providing address and telephone numbers for people who must be notified, answering sympathy phone calls.
      4. Your survivors will need funds for doctors and nurses, hospital, medicine and drugs, cemetery, funeral service, minister, musical selections, florist, transportation, food, and current or urgent bills. Funds should be set aside to ensure they will have funds available. Insurance proceeds take time to obtain and there will be household expenses to be paid. There should be cash available in a safety deposit box along with a joint bank account to accommodate living expenses.
    30. Advisors
      • A listing of doctors, clergy, accountants, attorneys, insurance brokers, memorial counsel, financial planners, and anyone else you use for advice along with their name, addresses, and telephone numbers. (Also list them under any specific section to what advice they provide).
  3. Legal Wills
    1. Legal Wills make life easier for your survivors. It is essential you have a Will. If you don't, have one prepared immediately. If you do, have it updated.
    2. In many states, a hand written Will is not enforceable (ask your attorney).
    3. Check with your attorney if the filing of your Will with the court in order to transfer assets can be eliminated by transferring your assets into a revocable trust or the use of other techniques such as holding assets in joint name with the right of survivorship.
    4. It is always preferable to have an attorney prepare your Will along with any other legal document referenced. However, your local office supply store may have forms you can use.
    5. Alternatively, there are self-help websites to create forms inexpensively such as:
    6. Investigate these sites or any site completely before using them. The mention of these sites is not an endorsement. Remember, certain forms such as the Living Will, Designation of Health Surrogate, and Appointment of Personal Representative for your insurance company may be available free from either your hospital or your insurance company.
  4. Living Wills
  5. Ethical Wills - Who Are You?
    1. An Ethical Will is not legally enforceable. The Ethical Will says things you want your loved ones to remember. Some do this as a memoir, simple letter, CD, audio tape, video, or DVD. You could set up a separate page in a notebook to cover each of area. You will want to date each entry.
    2. This thought provoking process is an opportunity to learn about yourself, because while writing it makes you focus on what is important. This is an opportunity to say things you may not have been able to share while alive. It will simply confirm the deep feelings you have for others. This is very personal and can go to your children, spouse, or significant other people in your life. Tie in personal stories and experiences to make your point.
    3. Some things you might want to cover are:
      1. Thankfulness and gratitude to your spouse, children, or others. Your love for them.
      2. Your thoughts on your life, the ups and downs, and what was meaningful.
      3. Your family history.
      4. Your thoughts on death and mourning.
      5. Funny stories or memorable moments in your life.
      6. What success in life means to you. Your successes as well as failures and mistakes.
      7. How you met your spouse.
      8. Fondest moments with your children.
      9. Your dreams fulfilled or not.
      10. Your values.
      11. People who were your mentors.
      12. People who you have wronged. You may want to ask for their forgiveness. In addition, people you forgive.
      13. What you see as the responsibilities of various survivors.
      14. Charities important to you.
      15. The meaning of certain possessions and who should get what. You may also want to do this legally in your Will.
      16. Any areas you wish to pass on to your children based upon your life's experience.
      17. The areas you cover can be as simple as ”I love you”, to a full fledged memoir.
      18. This type of communication is what is remembered and cherished by your loved ones. This is not intended to be a comprehensive list of items you need to address but is merely a starting point for planning. You may want to address other information specific to your circumstances.